For National Hospice Month, two Delaware families
served by Compassionate Care Hospice share their stories and their thoughts on
hospice care.
Willard Miller of Newark had been caring for his wife by himself for about 10
years when, about two years ago, he discovered hospice care was available to
help.
Miller had retired in 1988 after 45 years as a supervisor with Amtrak. His
wife Christiana had retired from her career as a postal worker in 1970. But
their life together was rocked after two heart attacks in 1991 and a stroke the
following year left her completely bedridden and partially paralyzed.
“I have to feed her, and she has no control in her left side,” said Miller,
now 78, noting his wife’s mind is still good but she needs help to do even the
most basic tasks. Up four to six times every night to care for her and losing
weight himself, he added, “I wasn’t getting any rest at all.”
Finally he got out the phone book and called the closest hospice. Now a nurse
comes twice a week to check Christiana’s vital signs, watch for bedsores and
tend to her medical needs. A nurse’s aide comes three days a week, helping
making it possible for Miller to go out to the store, a simple thing he
hesitated to do before. Social worker Teri Busch also visits weekly.
“It really brings her spirits up and mine too,” Miller said. “Teri Busch is a
great woman.”
A preacher also visited and prayed with the couple, Miller added, noting he
even had a good sense of humor. “You can kid with him and he kids back.”
Since last Oct. 16, when CCH first started helping him care for Christiana,
Miller has been impressed by the quality of their staff.
“They’re very good people, very compassionate people,” Miller said. “I don’t
know what I’d have done if it weren’t for them. They’re all heart.”
When her former in-laws, Balmer and Helen Sinegar, married 62 years last
Saturday, didn’t want to stay in a nursing home, Anita Carter of Felton wanted
to help them.
“They said, ‘please, please get us out of here,’” Carter said, and she
decided to bring them to live with her. Carter, who was partially paralyzed in a
car accident 20 years ago, needed help to care for them — and found it.
Balmer, 82, is diabetic and has congestive heart failure, qualifying him for
hospice care. Helen, 82, suffered two strokes last November that took most of
her vision, and now receives home healthcare services.
Carter’s daughter, Melinda Sinegar, who was her grandparents’ caregiver for
about 10 years, now takes care of the bills and grocery shopping for the family.
Balmer listens to the television all day, which is fitted with a special
magnifying screen provided by the state services for the blind, to help Helen
watch it, too.
Carter works to cheer them, encouraging Helen, who used to love knitting and
crochet work, to listen to books on tape and reads the catalog to her so she can
pick new ones.
“I never knew there was so much help for people,” Carter said, noting hospice
has especially helpful with Balmer.
“It’s been just wonderful, because before, every time he had a pain, we had
to call 911. Now all I have to do is pick up the phone and [his nurse] comes and
reassures him,” Carter said, adding he’s tickled with all the personal attention
he gets.
“It’s just the little things that matter,” Carter added. “Hospice is just
wonderful. I can’t say enough about them. They just really care. It’s not just a
patient to them, it’s a person.”
Article Published in HEALTH Section, November 2004
By Joanna Wilson, Lifestyles Editor
